“I am a lover of what is, not because I’m a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality.” —Byron Katie
I often find that while working with clients who struggle with anxiety or depression, and other mental health challenges, those who do find greater peace and ease are usually the clients who have fully accepted their current reality as the pathway health.
A very common experience amongst clients who seek therapy is the realization that it is only by giving up resistance to their current situation—even one that deeply drains them both emotionally and physically—that they can arrive at a place of healing and sustained well-being.
Perhaps you have felt anxious going to work everyday, or depressed and isolated in an intimate relationship. Have you begun to look at your current situation through the lens of what you are lacking? Do you afford yourself the compassion to view your situation through a broader lens—seeing each piece of your life as one that fits into a much larger whole?
Clients often beat themselves up for not changing fast enough; they recognize the places in their lives where they get stuck, but they do not recognize the areas in which they are making great effort and changing. The more they resist their current situation, the more exhaustion and sense of failure they feel.
When we look at our current situation—our relationships, our mental and physical health—with compassion and patience, we can tell ourselves, ‘Okay, this is my experience at the moment. What are the steps I will take to work with that?’ It is at this point that we can begin to objectively assess the stories we tell ourselves, discerning where it is that we cut ourselves short or do not push enough, and how to move forward in ways that inspire and revitalize us.
In practicing this level of acceptance you will discover how certain patterns are no longer serving you. Intimately knowing how we relate to ourselves and others sheds light on how we show up in all areas of our lives. You can discover the areas of your life where you disconnect.
By freshly accepting the place where we are starting each day, we come into direct relationship with our own emotions more clearly and compassionately. We can be honest with ourselves.
It is so easy to resist our current reality if we don’t like what we see. We want to push back against feelings of depression and anxiety, inadvertently becoming the victim in our own life. When we accept what is truly happening in the present and choose to be in direct relationship with that truth, we access a sense of empowerment rather than passivity or defeat. This is the key to breaking the cycle. This is when deep healing takes place.
When we acknowledge what is really happening in this moment, we might discover creative strategies and solutions that move us forward.